All I wanted was a pair of jeans. Just any jeans, really. I'm not too picky. Anyway, I got to the mall at about noon, and immediately headed to Pac Sun. I just like the way their clothes feel on my body. Well-fitting, but not too snug. I was looking at myself in the mirror to see how a nice pair of dark blue carpenter jeans fit on my body when I heard a familiar voice outside the changing room.
"Hey, what's the skinny, my favorite Pac Sun store?"
"Joe! Welcome back! I hid a very special shirt for you in the back!"
"Hey thanks! I'll pick it up later. Right now I just want to give you guys these maple bars."
Could it be? Joe Biden, in my Pac Sun? I quickly changed back into my cargo jean shorts and stepped out. Sure enough, our 47th Vice President himself, in my Pac Sun holding a large box of maple bars. Trembling, I made my way to the register to ring out the excellent, high-quality Pac Sun carpenter jeans.
"I would like to purchase these jeans please." I handed the jeans to the cashier, hoping she wouldn't notice my nervous shakes, my profusely sweating forehead.
"Hey, son. Don't worry about it. Those beautiful, well-crafted carpenter jeans are on old Uncle Joe today!" ICAN'TBELIEVEITHE'SBUYINGMEJEANS! I want to say thank you but all I can do is stare and babble incoherently.
"You'remyheroInamedmybarbarianinDungeonsandDragonsafteryouhahahahahaha!" I manage to spit out.
"These jeans are going to make you a big hit with the ladies! Not like you need very much help with that, a handsome young man like you!" He and the cashier laugh but not in a mean way.
"Actually, I'm not great with the girls." I sigh and hang my head.
"A strapping young buck like yourself? No! You'd date him, wouldn't you, Summer?"
"I'm married, unfortunately. I regret that now, after seeing this guy's great calves in those beautiful cargo jean shorts." She held up her hand to prove she wasn't lying.
"A bummer for you both! Son, what do you have going on this afternoon? Maybe I could teach you a thing or two about ladies?"
"Aw, gee! You mean it?" Was he serious? Would I really get dating advice from the greatest man our great nation has ever known? Surely not!
TO BE CONTINUED...
